PARENTING WITH APOLOGIES
Shortly after one of my girls woke up, she was already verbalizing a negative attitude for the day. So I responded back to her with an attitude. Brilliant, right? I put the mama power on and firmly responded with, "I don't know what your problem is with today, but if you don't cut it out I can start your day with of some form of discipline to help you snap out of it." So she answered back that she didn't have an attitude. Then I answered back that she did and re-enacted it all so she could see it. Then I added, "You have one more chance to start this day off better." Then I went to the kitchen for another few minutes to finish reading my Bible. All it took was for me to see my Bible and I was immediately convicted.
Calmly, I called for my daughter and expressed my apologies. "I am sorry. I was too firm and had a negative attitude myself this morning." Kindly she answered, "It's okay, mom." But I knew we needed to reunite in heart. "No, its really not okay.Will you forgive me?" "Yes, I will." As we hugged she let out a sigh of relief. And so did I.
So, after my daughter and I reconnected, I asked, "So what was up this morning that had you so tense..." and we chatted about it. Afterwards, we looked up Bible verses that would help with what she was struggling with for the day. This was MUCH more effective than my first response.
Parenting with apologies keeps my heart close to the girls and allows them to see my imperfections because otherwise they might think I am totally perfe...wait, well, definitely not that but it does allow them to see how I handle my imperfections. :-)
Here are two insights when you do go to your child:
1. GO INFREQUENTLY.
When you go infrequently, the moments you do have a conversation with your child will carry more weight. He or she will know that you don't "typically" do this and it actually means something to them. Otherwise, it will be "just another time mom wants to say sorry before she messes up again." Don't give them that edge! And honestly, none of us need to be living in a way that causes constant apologies.
2. GO INTENTIONALLY.
Make the moment count. Own what you did. Sincerely apologize for the issue in a way that they know you mean it. Use this time to talk about leadership as well. Children, especially teens, can learn from you how vital it is for authority to lead with a heart of humility. This will also show how you respect them as a person even though you are in charge of them.
The atmosphere of apologies is healing within the home. Let is start with us! #mothergood #itsinyou
Shortly after one of my girls woke up, she was already verbalizing a negative attitude for the day. So I responded back to her with an attitude. Brilliant, right? I put the mama power on and firmly responded with, "I don't know what your problem is with today, but if you don't cut it out I can start your day with of some form of discipline to help you snap out of it." So she answered back that she didn't have an attitude. Then I answered back that she did and re-enacted it all so she could see it. Then I added, "You have one more chance to start this day off better." Then I went to the kitchen for another few minutes to finish reading my Bible. All it took was for me to see my Bible and I was immediately convicted.
Calmly, I called for my daughter and expressed my apologies. "I am sorry. I was too firm and had a negative attitude myself this morning." Kindly she answered, "It's okay, mom." But I knew we needed to reunite in heart. "No, its really not okay.Will you forgive me?" "Yes, I will." As we hugged she let out a sigh of relief. And so did I.
So, after my daughter and I reconnected, I asked, "So what was up this morning that had you so tense..." and we chatted about it. Afterwards, we looked up Bible verses that would help with what she was struggling with for the day. This was MUCH more effective than my first response.
Parenting with apologies keeps my heart close to the girls and allows them to see my imperfections because otherwise they might think I am totally perfe...wait, well, definitely not that but it does allow them to see how I handle my imperfections. :-)
Here are two insights when you do go to your child:
1. GO INFREQUENTLY.
When you go infrequently, the moments you do have a conversation with your child will carry more weight. He or she will know that you don't "typically" do this and it actually means something to them. Otherwise, it will be "just another time mom wants to say sorry before she messes up again." Don't give them that edge! And honestly, none of us need to be living in a way that causes constant apologies.
2. GO INTENTIONALLY.
Make the moment count. Own what you did. Sincerely apologize for the issue in a way that they know you mean it. Use this time to talk about leadership as well. Children, especially teens, can learn from you how vital it is for authority to lead with a heart of humility. This will also show how you respect them as a person even though you are in charge of them.
The atmosphere of apologies is healing within the home. Let is start with us! #mothergood #itsinyou
love this...i do this too, i want to be humble not prideful when i mess up, which is often :/
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