Certainly, if you
are in the midst of raising a teen, then you know students aren't the only ones
feeling the change. What used to be a fun trip hand-in-hand to Wal-Mart for a pack
of décor pencils has turned into a Mall trip with much discussion of what is or
isn’t allowed. It’s a time of change for the parents as much as the student. So
what are some insights into making the best of school preparation with your teenage
child?
1. Keep It Fun! Teens are still tender at
heart! While they long to be grown, there are parts that are still enjoying
childhood joys. So, create a celebration
of the back to school days! Make a countdown chart in the kitchen, take them
for a fresh haircut, leave a note of funny things you remember from being their
age and/or hopes you have them this year. Some more ideas are to visit the
school before it starts just to say hello to staff for a pre-school connection,
make shopping day fun by planning out what is needed and the best places to
look then enjoy stopping for a treat as you chat about how your child feels
about the year, or have some close friends over for a back to school hang out
time or dinner out. Their tender teen hearts may or may not express how much
all this means but they will enjoy, appreciate, and remember all you have done.
2. Keep It Simple! With all the changes
during those teen years, simplicity is a gift that some teens aren’t sure how
to acquire. Everywhere they go, there are options and decisions for them to be
involved in something. Whether it’s more classes, afterschool clubs, sports,
church activities, community events, friendships, homework, home jobs or even a
workplace job, there is much to be done! If you can help them narrow down their
choices and responsibilities with logical reasoning it will help them not be
overwhelmed. Think through their natural abilities, personal interest (not just
because someone else wants them to do it), weekly schedule, daily schedule, cost,
responsibilities and necessity to do what is offered. As you move through a
time of investigation and discussion, you will both learn what will be the best
for all involved. This will keep things simple which helps the teen and the
whole family.
3. Keep It Close! While these years are a
time to offer more freedom and growth, this is also a critical time to stay
close to their heart. They may or may not seem interested or may not be home as
much but they do still need you! It will take some planning and patience on
your part but keeping them close is a must. As you go into the school year,
have a conversation about your love for them and desire to stay connected. Then
go into the fall with plans for meals as a family, set weeknight or weekend
outings, leave notes of encouragement as well as be willing to stay up for those
late-night chat times, attend their activities, create time to know their
friends, and do whatever it takes to get into their world. In return, having a
close relationship that makes an effort to be together gives more opportunity
to discuss the realities of teen pressures, friend issues, personal struggles,
and deeper emotions. Going into the school year with the support of a parent
that works to stay close gives incredible stability for the developing teen and
endless rewards for you as the parent!
These days may be
different than years before but it can be a meaningful and enjoyable time in
the journey of parenting as your teen goes back to school!
*Article used as published in Paradise Valley Lifestyle Magazine August 2014 by Casey Gibbons
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